Dear Matthew,

What I want to tell you today is so important.  I tell you every day, probably 50 times a day but I haven't officially counted, how much I love you.  I am so incredibly in love with you it is unbelieveable.  In the morning, when I start to hear your sweet morning sounds (and before they turn into the loud screams of "get me outta here!!"), I open the door to your room and am greeted with the most animated amount of joy.  Really- if people ever feel down about themselves, all they need do is greet you in the morning.  You smile, no you beam, and no matter how groggy I am, you light ME up with your amazing optimism and excitement of what's to come.

I love watching you grow and learn.  Today I took your pants and shoes out to get you dressed and you pointed to your shoe and said "shoe."  Then later we were driving somewhere.  We stopped at a light and you pointed out the window to a bunch of balloons and said "boon."  These are words I never even knew you knew.  I told Daddy later and you would have thought we had won the lottery to watch my excitement over your sudden ability to speak these words.  "He said shoe! Can you believe it? He saw the shoes and said shoe!"   You recieved similar reactions from me the first time you ate a whole bowl of yogurt, with a spoon, all by yourself!  Geesh...can't wait until you catch your first baseball or ace a test in school.  I sense my pride in you will only grow and grow.

Sometimes, you challenge me.  You are a monkey, who likes to climb and get into things, so yes, sometimes, you challenge me.  And by challenge, I simply mean frustrate. Oh I know all the things you do are all a part of your active and inquisitive personality.  But when I have to tell you 15 times NOT to open the movie cabinet doors, or NOT to climb on the table, frustrate me it does.  I get over it pretty quickly though when you flash me your adorable smile.

Oh how you laugh!! It is so catchy.  Sometimes I do something silly over and over just to hear those infectious giggles.  Last week it was putting a bowl on my head and acting surprised when it fell off, and last night it was laying my head on your belly pretending it was my pillow.  You laughed so hard I had to remind you to breath.  I love these moments.  Cherish them to no end.

We are packing up this house and getting ready to drive to Texas, find a new home, and continue this amazing life with you.  Although this house has been home for almost 2 years, I am ok leaving.  However, as I sit here typing this I look around and oh the memories this home is filled with.  This is the home we brought you home to, from the hospital on the 4th of July.  Boss didn't know what to think of you and your crying.  Fireworks that night were a celebration of you and your life, in my mind anyway.  I see the spot we always had your swing in.  I can roll over in bed and still imagine your tiny, swaddled body laying in the pack-n-play next to me.  I would wake up and peak over at you with this tiny flashlight I had and just smile.  You were so beautiful.  You ARE so beautiful.  It's so beautiful the joy you have brought to this family.

Matthew, my son, I love you. 

Love,
Mommy