Collateral damage

What happens when Matthew plays in my bathroom while I'm trying to get ready:

What happens when two toddlers are let loose in a playroom:

 What happens to the bathroom when potty-training a toddler:

If you're good, maybe I'll give you a sticker for using the bathroom next time you're visiting. :-)

What thyroid?

Here's the thing they don't really spend much time or emphasis on when they are about to obliterate your thyroid with radiation: being hypothyroid sucks.  I don't think there was really enough talk dedicated to that- it was all about getting better and getting my body to please stop attacking my thyroid.

I only say that to drive the point home- believe you me, it is not a fun feeling.  And I have to say, I actually *do* feel better this week then I did last week (but then, I had the flu or something last week).  I would have to guess the thyroid hormone replacement is thus far putting a dent in things.  I'm sure I'm not where I need to be yet, but hopefully getting there.

But I want to tell you how this feels.  Imagine you're walking through mud.  Really, really thick mud.  My leg muscles get so overtired that they barely want to walk upstairs.  You're hair? It comes out in clumps in the shower.  Not necessarily a bad thing for me since I have quite a lot of thick hair, but still a tad troubling to watch it happen.  You feel tired.  Very, very tired.  Like you could pass out dead asleep at any given moment.   And then there's the chill.  The deep chill that is only fixed with super, hot water (the kind that turns your skin red) in the shower (the part that sucks about that is actually getting out of the shower).  I have to admit, the cold thing hasn't been too bad for me- it's mostly the legs and the tiredness.  Oh, and if you even look at a cookie--or ride in the same car as a piping, hot, ooey gooey pizza--and you've gained 2 pounds.  For realz.  This is the very reason I was eating my barley with black bean burger concoction while the boys ate pepperoni pizza.  Who needs to deal with that kind of thing?

But here's the other thing.  If you power through; if you have a kid who doesn't stop and therefore you can't stop.  If you're in the middle of potty training, which quite honestly REALLY takes it out of you.  If you have a beautiful house that needs to be cleaned, dishes to put away, laundry to do. Well then.  There really isn't much choice, is there?  If you power through, it doesn't really phase you too much.  Really it's when you sit down that you realize how exhausted you are.  The best part (best medicine?) really is the working out.  Yeah, I never thought I of all people would say that either.  It is true though.  Tonight I was tired to the core and the last thing on my mind was going to spin class.  But I love Thursday night spin class (not to be confused with Tuesday morning spin class- which I LOVE love love).  In fact, I despise going to the gym in the evening, but for spin class I will do it.  So I drag my slowly moving legs into the gym, wrestle my kid into the daycare, walk the 2 flights of stairs up to cycle class, and get set up on my bike.  All the while thinking how much I'd rather be sitting on a couch instead of a bike.  Then the music gets going.  My legs start pedaling, the sweat starts pouring, and really before I know it, the hour is up.  Re-energized.  It's magical I tell you.  And tomorrow morning? I'll be dragging, but I'll still bring the kid to the gym and I'll still go to barbell class, and you know what? I'll be sore, especially those dang legs- but I will feel energized.  There's something to be said of pushing yourself to do something, even when you really, really don't want to.   There's something to be said of not making excuses.  There is something to be said of sometimes the best medicine? It's not actually a medicine at all. 

Yes.  I am aware the whole walk-through-mud-jelly-leg feeling may have more to do with spin class then the whole thyroid thing, but clearly I'm not fully convinced. :-)

P.S.  For those following more interesting things than my thyroid, like, say, my kid...potty training is still going.  He does pretty well at home.  That's not to say he didn't drop a huge turd by the front door yesterday, because that, he definitely did.  He has however, put the majority of his output into the potty.  Going out in public is another thing though.  We left the house in undies yesterday (in lieu of pull-up) and you've never seen me move so fast through Walmart.  I was so afraid of an accident happening in the middle of the store I had a true pep in my step. 

We made it home dry, by the way.

Extra thoughts and prayers please.

I truly believe there can never be too many people praying for something.  And if you don't pray, you could always send some healing energy, positive thoughts, whatever it is you do.  Because of that, I thought I'd go ahead and put in a prayer request for my sweet little cousin.  Ok, she's my cousins daughter so she's my second cousin, or ya know, something like that.  She is a sweet 4 year old (5 next month), who loves princesses and looks pretty darling in her ballerina outfit.  Her name is Lauren, and a few weeks ago she was diagnosed with leukemia ( a form of cancer of the blood).  She has been in the hospital ever since, receiving numerous pokes and tests and treatments.  She has started her chemo, and apparently her hair is just starting to fall out.  She has fabulous parents, a sweet baby (2 year old) sister, and tons of family and friends supporting her.  Hopefully she will go home from this hospitalization soon, but will continue with chemo and treatment for quite some time. 

As most of you know, I spent about 5 years of my life working as a child life specialist in a pediatric oncology unit.  I have seen first hand the hell this can be on a child and family.  There is so much involved- so much  more then just treatment.  Where do you stay while she's in hospital? Who takes care of the sibling? How do we keep the house clean enough to be as germ-free as possible? How do we keep things as normal as possible for her?  As luck would have it, children are extrememly resilient little people, much more so then adults, that's for sure.  These rough things they are asked to go through to get well again, and yet they still play and smile when they can.  I can remember more then one sweet little 4 year old girl, bald as can be, dressed in princess clothes, inviting me to tea parties in their hospital rooms.  I even still have a picture of myself, sitting on a hospital bed sipping "tea" (ahem, apple juice) and wearing a princess crown.  Oh the things we'd do to make a kid happy!  Anyway, all that to say, you never, ever imagine that kid could be someone you know.  Not that I think I'm immune to such things, just that it's not something you imagine.  My heart goes out to anyone walking this journey with their child- but right now, most importantly, to my cousin, his sweet wife and their 2 beautiful girls.

So please, if you can, if you will, send some prayers up for Lauren and her family! Any and all will do.

Potty super star!

I had no intentions of full-on potty training.  Really, I didn't.  But one thing led to another, and Matthew seemed to be more ready then I gave him credit for, and we are WELL on our way!  Like, I think I am going to pack up the diapers (sniff, sniff...I actually love those cute little, soft diapers).  Matthew is wearing undies or going bare-butt at home, and has had 2 accidents all week.  Everything else- into the potty it went.  He decided he didn't like going number 2 on the potty, so that explains those accidents. (P.S. why is it that kids don't like pooping in the potty?? Doesn't the alternative, going in ones pants, seem much worse?)

So far when we venture into the outside world, he is in pull-ups, but he is staying dry a LOT and using restrooms while out, and well, impressing the heck out of me.  I am going to have to just put the undies on him while out soon, and let him have a few accidents, so he'll understand.  Not sure yet how this is going to work with school, because I think he needs to be in pull-ups there until he's fully potty trained, but we'll see.

The most excitement happened tonight.  Yes, people, I am using excitement and potty in the same story. Get used to it.  Matthew was running around bare butt, Mike was on his computer, and I was talking to my mom on the phone.  Matthew comes running into the living room saying "yay! yay!".  Mike and I immediately shoot looks to each other, so sure he's telling us yay because he went potty somewhere on the floor.  We look around, see nothing.  Then we see it- he actually went to the bathroom climbed up on the big potty, and pooped! All by himself! We haven't even bought a step stool yet (you know, because I wasn't planning on potty training), so we're not even completely sure how he got himself up there, but YAY! He really did it.

I'm not gonna lie.  Matthew and I have pretty much been living and breathing potty training for the last few days.  He has just surprised me so much, as I really wasn't going to tackle this milestone until closer to 3.  I'm so proud of my big boy!  And, ok, really getting slapped in the face that my baby isn't a baby anymore.  *sigh*

Brag much?

Since I have nowhere else to post about little successes (little??? I think not!), they go here.  I think it's generally frowned upon to post potty talk on facebook.  Well, maybe not frowned upon, but you do run the risk of ending up with your status submitted to the lovely website making fun of parents who over share on facebook.  And while I can sort of see their point sometimes- I mean, I know not everyone on facebook is a parent or wants to be a parent or cares about parenting- I can't say my first urge today wasn't to go post a status shouting to all my "friends" my son's potty business.  Because it was.  But I didn't.  I can sort of understand, seeing as there may or may not have been a time when I hid all my pregnant friends statuses so I wouldn't have to read over and over about "yay I'm pregnant" or "oh damn being pregnant sucks" or "I'm the most blessed person alive because I'm pregnant and here are all my ultrasound pictures for all you non-pregnants to look at".  I mean, I was truly happy for them, but that doesn't mean, that at the height of my "I-just- had-2-miscarriages-so-I-must-be-broken-grief", I wanted to read about it.  Oh I'm past that now, but there was definitely a few months.  Anyway, point is, if you're here, we should have a clear understanding right now that most of this blog is about my kid.  And what it's like to parent my kid.  And how cute my kid is :-).  Therefore,  here you have it.  Potty talk.  Oh boy! (side note: if you don't like it, I'm assuming you know no one is twisting your arm and telling you to read it. Right??)

So, potty talk.  I have to say, there's no real hardcore potty training going on here.  I'm just looking for a sign, any sign, that maybe he's gonna start to get it.  And by get it, I just mean, understand that pee pee and poo poo is so much neater when it goes straight from the source into the potty.  Cut that middle man (the diaper) out.  I have no intention of rushing this, just putting the idea out there into his world.

Oh, ok, I did go all sorts of crazy today (I blame the virus still coursing through my bod) and buy a bunch of "big boy" underwear.  And yes, some pull-ups, even though I've heard maybe they're not the best for potty training because of their likeness to diapers.  I still bought them.  He has gone numero uno into the potty several times in the last few days, but that big bad numero two (ha!) has been eluding us.

Well, thankfully my boy is happiest when naked.  Because you see, I bought the big boy underwear, washed them, and then the fear of all that is good and Holy coursed through my body at the thought of (gasp!) poo poo actually being put into said underwear.  I mean, I know that's likely to help him learn and all that, but yikes.  Poo undies make me want to curl up in a ball in the corner rocking back and forth.  And I do cloth diaper, so you'd think it wouldn't. But it does- so anyway.  My kid's a semi-nudist and LOVES to prance around in the buff.  He runs through the house shouting with the happiest glee when we allow him "naked baby time". Yes, I know he's not technically a baby anymore, but the phrase was coined long long ago.  So my fear, and his glee, led to us (well, him, not us) spending the afternoon naked from the waist down.  Something in me thought maybe, just maybe, he would feel slightly less then civilized if he actually took a dump on the floor.  I mean, in his pants, fine.  But actually crouching and dumping on the floor? No way, right???

Several false alarms...in which I think he was just managing to hold it longer because he certainly did not want to poo in the potty.  Not I said Matthew.  Then, out of nowhere.  The kid holds his bum, screaming "poo poo! poo poo!" and runs into the bathroom.  Where I plop him on the potty and in 1.2 seconds it was all over.  Poo in the potty!!!!

And just like that, I now understand the excitement parents talk about. You would have thought this mommy won the lottery by the dancing and celebrating that went on! And the pride on my face was certainly mirrored on Matthew's face- he was beaming I tell you. 

So to sum it up, my kid pooped on the potty for the first time in his little life today.  I'm so proud, he may as well be president or something.